When the Financial Abuse Starts After You Leave
People think once you leave the relationship, the abuse ends.
But for many survivors — especially of silent, covert, or narcissistic partners — leaving only shifts the battlefield. When they can no longer control you emotionally, they try to control you financially.
And because you’ve left, people assume you’re free.
So this abuse is often invisible — even to those closest to you.
What Financial Abuse Can Look Like After Separation:
Dragging out divorce proceedings to drain your money or punish you
Refusing to pay child support or making you chase it constantly
Withholding shared funds or assets you’re legally entitled to
Sabotaging your housing or job stability through harassment
Ruining your credit (through joint accounts, loans, or past debt)
Blaming you for their financial mess — while refusing accountability
Why They Do It:
Because you took your voice back.
You stopped playing by their unspoken rules.
Now they want to make you pay — literally.
Money becomes the new weapon, and the goal is the same:
To exhaust you, confuse you, and make you question your strength.
What You Need to Know:
You are not overreacting.
You are not petty or bitter for standing your ground.
This is post-separation financial abuse, and it’s real.
What You Can Do:
Document Everything
Keep copies of texts, emails, missed payments, legal threats. Use apps like OurFamilyWizard if co-parenting.Go Through Legal Channels
File for court-enforced child or spousal support if you haven’t. Use legal aid if you can’t afford a lawyer.Protect Yourself Financially
Separate all accounts
Close or monitor old joint debts
Place fraud alerts if they’ve used your credit
Track your income/expenses carefully
Get Support
This is where many survivors break down — not because they’re weak, but because they’re worn down. Don’t do it alone. Connect with a support group, coach, or trauma-informed financial advisor.
You Deserve Peace — Not Punishment
You made the brave choice to leave.
Now you deserve to live — not in survival mode, but in freedom.
If they’re still trying to punish you through silence, blame, or money — that says everything about them.
And nothing about you. Carlin