If You Think You Know Him... You Probably Don't

He was the nice guy. The helpful one. Quiet, charming, always polite in public.
The one who smiled at strangers but gave me silence at home.
The one who listened to others but dismissed my voice.

People still say, “He didn’t seem like the type.”
Or worse, “Are you sure it was that bad?”

But if you think you know him—you don’t.
Because the version of him you see is curated, a mask. Polished. Performed to hide what’s really inside.
The version I lived with was something else entirely.

There is no applause for surviving silent abuse.
There are no obvious scars.
Just the slow unraveling of your sense of self.
And a quiet grief that shows up when no one else is looking.

So if you're grieving, too… I see you.

And if they tell you he didn't seem that bad—
just remember:

If you think you know him, you probably don’t. Carlin