Why It Was Never "Just Miscommunication"

For years, I told myself that we just didn’t communicate well.
That maybe I was too emotional. Too sensitive. Too much.
I bent myself in every direction trying to be “clearer,” “calmer,” “easier to live with.”

But it wasn’t miscommunication.

It was manipulation.

When you speak and someone hears you—but acts like they didn’t.
When your feelings are met with silence.
When your questions are brushed off with half-answers, sarcasm, or lies.

That’s not a failure to communicate. That’s a strategy to control.

Silent gaslighting doesn’t scream.
It whispers things like,
"You're overthinking."
"I never said that."
"You're making a big deal out of nothing."
...until you start believing it.

It’s not a miscommunication when one person is playing a game and the other thinks it’s real life.

That’s what kept me stuck for years—trying to fix a “misunderstanding” that was really an abuse tactic.

So if you’re still wondering if it was your fault...
If you just didn’t explain yourself right...
Please hear this:

You didn’t fail to communicate.
He failed to respect you.

Carlin